Little Elf/Big Elf

This year (which is a funny thing for me to say considering the fact that I have had no other years to compare to this one), I think instead of sitting on Santa's lap (which begs another interesting question: Does this guy still not have email? Why do I have to write a letter or sit on his lap to let him know what I want? Is there some kind of terrible electromagnetic field in the North Pole that blocks the Internet? Is there something preventing the information age from penetrating the Arctic North? Now that I think about it, that would explain some of the things that Sarah Palin said in the election, but I digress...), I'm going to give him a break. Santa can come sit on my lap. As you can see, I've been practicing sitting up nice and straight, and I think I could support the weight of an elf like Santa. ...what do you mean bowl full of jelly?